


When You Have No Light

by ConjuringWords



Series: For Your Love, I'm Fighting [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Auror Harry Potter, Auror Raid, Boys In Love, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Good Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter Needs a Hug, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redeemed Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:06:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23810524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConjuringWords/pseuds/ConjuringWords
Summary: It was a routine raid on a suspected potions smuggler. But what else was discovered during the raid shakes Harry badly. Thoughts of the past haunt him, and when he steps out of the Floo at Grimmauld Place, it's to find the one person he needs right now. And Draco is right there to give Harry what he needs.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Series: For Your Love, I'm Fighting [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1642594
Comments: 6
Kudos: 224





	When You Have No Light

**Author's Note:**

> This one has actually been done for a bit, but needed some tweaking. It's finally ready to post. Hope you all are doing well out there. The world is scary right now. Thank you as always for all of your support, kudos, comments, and everything. Please, take care all.
> 
> Also: You may recognize the quote Draco uses in this. ((grins))

The moment Harry stepped through the Floo into Grimmauld Place, Draco knew something was very wrong. Harry’s normally vibrant green eyes were dull and haunted with dark purple rings beneath them as if he hadn’t slept for days, his skin was palid, almost grey. He looked almost like Death.

“Harry!” Draco jumped up from the couch where he’d been lounging, reading a potions journal. Wrapping his arms around his partner, Draco felt the tremors going through him and realized that Harry was shaking. “What happened, love?” He asked quietly. 

Had something happened to Hermione or Weasley? To one of his other friends? Or was it something at work? 

Harry didn’t answer right away, just let Draco hold him. Tentatively Harry raised his arms and wound them around Draco’s waist, pulling him against him, holding tight. Then Draco felt something warm and wet hitting his neck and he realized with growing concern that Harry was crying. Harry hardly ever cried, he hated it. And he especially hated crying in front of people, even Draco.

Running his hands up and down his back Draco made what he hoped were soothing sounds. “It’s alright, love. I’m here. It’s okay.” He didn’t know what else to do so he just held Harry until he was ready to talk.

Finally Harry seemed to pull himself together. Lifting his head he looked at Draco and if possible looked even more bleak than he had when he’d first stepped through the Floo. His eyes were red rimmed and damp from crying and there was such sorrow in his normally vibrant eyes it nearly stole Draco’s breath. He felt his heart break for this man who was normally so strong. Whatever had happened it was bad. Really bad. 

Draco guided them over to the couch and lay down, pulling Harry down to rest against his body, head pillowed on his chest. Running his fingers through Harry’s impossibly messy hair, he waited for Harry to talk.

His voice, when it came, was ragged. There was anguish and also anger in it. ‘We busted that potions trafficker today. The raid actually went off without anyone getting hurt. We got him  _ Incarceroused  _ pretty quickly so he never had a chance to really get anything off on us. We found all kinds of illegal and Black Market potions hidden all over the house. But that wasn’t the worst of it.  The bastard wasn’t just a potions trafficker apparently. I still don’t know how we missed it. Gods, it was awful. The fucking arsehole was trafficking  _ kids _ , Draco! It … it was … it was horrible. 

“He had them locked in cages in this hidden room we found in the basement of the house he was in. They had no clothes on, and they were filthy. The room smelled horrific. It was … it ... I can’t get the images out of my head. It was bad. Tory … she and one of the others had to … they had to restrain me from beating the fucking piece of shit to a pulp. I … just … Gods, Draco they were so frightened. Even of us. We had to call specialists from St. Mungo’s to come. They .. they know how to deal with this kind of thing. I … it …  _ Fuck _ .”

Draco tightened his hold on Harry, feeling sick as each detail of the raid came to light. He didn’t have to ask what the trafficker was doing with those kids. He had a pretty good idea what. Harry stayed quiet for several minutes before he spoke again. And what he said next nearly left Draco both speechless and shocked.

“Seeing those kids, it … I couldn’t help but think of … of what it was like to be locked in a small space like that. To be left alone, with no one to care for you, and wondering what was so wrong with you that someone treated you that way. My relatives, the ones that took me in after Voldemort murdered my parents, they hated me. My aunt was my mum’s sister you see and since she was the only blood relative I had I had to stay there because of the blood wards that Dumbledore used. It … it was bad. Not as bad as what these kids went through, but bad. The Dursleys, they didn’t want me. And they were afraid of anything having to do with magic. They thought they could stamp it out of me by making me as miserable as possible. It’s why I wore clothes that were much too big for me as they had been hand me downs from my cousin Dudley. They never bought me anything, anything I had used to be Dudley’s first and I only got it when he got tired of whatever it was. Or he didn’t want it to begin with. They always heaped him with things, whether he wanted them or not. Mostly I think to make sure I knew that Dudley would always get what he wanted and I wouldn’t. That Dudley would always know he was loved and wanted, and I wasn’t. It was just another way for them to make me miserable.

“For the first ten years I lived with them I had to sleep in the cupboard under the stairs, even though there was a guest room upstairs. Plus my cousin had a second bedroom for all of his toys and stuff that didn’t fit in the first one. And when I did something bad, or when something weird happened, which I later learned was accidental magic, they would lock me in there, sometimes for days. With no food. Not that they ever really fed me properly to begin with. Then around my 11th birthday, I started getting these weird letters, which of course was my Hogwarts letter. They were always addressed to my cupboard. When my Aunt and Uncle saw them, they panicked. Moved me into Dudley’s second bedroom, which was full of old, useless broken toys and things. But it had a real bed in it, one I could actually lay down on full length.”

Draco tried very hard not to show his reactions to what Harry was telling him, trying to remain still and listen as Harry talked.

“It didn’t work of course. The letters started finding their way into the house in weird ways. Like in the bottles of milk that were delivered every day, even in a box of eggs. Then one Sunday they positively flooded the house. Shooting down the chimney, threw the mail slot, through door cracks just everywhere. Uncle Vernon completely lost it then. Packed us all up and just drove and drove and drove around until finally stopping at a marina somewhere and renting this horrible little row boat that leaked to take us out to this utter SHACK on a rock in the middle of the ocean. During a terrible storm at that. The place was horrible. Everything in it was damp and musty and moldy. The storm was throwing spray all over the place, including into the shack since at least one window was missing. And it was bone chillingly cold. While my aunt and uncle slept in the only bed in the place, and Dudley slept on the sagging bit of furniture that was a sofa, I had to sleep on the floor with the thinnest blankets possible. I was so cold. I kept imaging the house on Privet Drive where we lived full of letters, and that I’d finally be able to read one, to see what it said at last. Know who was trying so hard to send them to me.

“My uncle,he thought they’d never find us there, not in that storm. Well of course that wasn’t true, as Hagrid found us. Brought me a birthday cake and everything. He was the one that told me I was a wizard. And told me about my parents, what really happened to them. My Aunt and Uncle always used to tell me they died in a car crash. The Dursley’s, mainly my uncle, tried to refuse to let me go to Hogwarts. Hagrid laughed at them and told them no one was stopping me from going to Hogwarts. Then he gave my cousin a curly pig’s tail because he tried to steal some of my birthday cake. They had to pay someone a lot of money to remove it later.

Anyway, Hagrid took me to Diagon Alley the next day, which of course is where I first met you when we were both in Madam Malkin’s robe shop. And you insulted Hagrid, the first friend I’d ever had. Cause Dudley always made sure no one would ever be friends with me at school. He and his gang of friends used to chase me all the time and when they’d catch me they’d beat me up. They called it ‘Harry Hunting’. Once when I was running from them at school I went to jump behind a trash can and ended up on the roof of the school. I think that was one of my first bits of accidental magic. Of course I didn’t know that then.”

Draco listened as Harry told him about Hagrid buying him his owl, Hedwig. How she was his lifeline to the wizarding world while he had to stay with his relatives during the summers away from Hogwarts. About his Uncle’s sister and her awful bulldogs. How he had blown her up like a balloon before third year because she insulted his mother and father. He told Draco about the bars on his window, the cat flap and the locks on his door after Dobby the house elf (Draco’s house elf) did magic in his relatives house and he was given a warning about using magic outside Hogwarts while still underage. Which due to that incident was why he was nearly expelled before fifth year for using a Patronus Charm when Umbridge had sent a couple of dementors after him and his cousin had nearly been kissed by one of them. No never mind that it had been self defense. Fucking Umbridge.

With each new detail of Harry’s childhood, Draco felt sick with horror that anyone would ever treat a child that way, and red with rage. How  _ dare _ they do that to him. When he finished, Draco hugged Harry tighter, at a loss of what to say. 

Finally he said, “How are you so rational? So normal? Shouldn’t you be angry and just really fucked up?” 

Harry gave a watery sounding chuckle, “I don’t know. I was angry and fucked up for a while, but I always chalked it up to the war. Though my Mind Healer said that it probably was from all the shit I went through in my childhood and the war put together.”

“You are so strong, do you know that? So incredibly strong. You went through child abuse and a war, and yet you aren’t in a ward at St. Mungo’s with our dear former Professor Lockhart. How is that possible?” 

“Honestly? I think it’s because of my friends, especially Ron and Hermione. They were there during the war and all those dark moments. They know some of what went on with the Durselys. Hell Ron and the twins rescued me from my room when the Durselys locked me in after the incident with Dobby and refused to let me out, even to go back to Hogwarts. They flew that damn enchanted flying car all the way from Devon to Surrey.”

Harry’s throat closed as he thought of the Weasleys, his chosen family, that no longer wanted him. It hurt. How often he wished he could explain what had really happened between him and Ginny. To tell them that he had never meant to hurt Ginny in any way, but she had hurt him by cheating. By making him feel worthless. Fuck everything was such a mess.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push back all the horrible memories from the Dursleys and thoughts of the Weasleys. Gods this day was shit. Harry really just wanted to crawl into bed and forget any of it happened. 

Soft lips pressing into his hair brought his attention back to where he was and with whom. Lifting his head his eyes met the worried grey of his lover. “Harry, you know it’s okay to not be okay, right?” Draco asked him quietly. “We all have days where we just can’t hold it together. And it’s okay to have those days sometimes. But remember that not every day has to be that way. To quote one of your favorite fictional characters:  _ ‘Every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things or make them unimportant.’” _

Despite it all, Harry felt himself smiling at the reference, both surprised and pleased that Draco remembered it. Lifting himself up a bit he pressed a soft kiss to Draco’s lips before pulling back. “Thank you.”

Suddenly Harry truly felt the weight of his day and yawned widely. “I’m knackered,” he muttered. Then, “Shit, we were supposed to go out tonight weren’t we? That’s why you were waiting for me here. Shit. I’m so sorry, Draco I just ...I don’t think I can handle going out tonight. I just want to take a long, hot shower, and sleep for a week.”

“Harry,” Draco said gently, seeing his lover was working himself into a panic, he started running his fingers through Harry’s wild hair again, knowing it was a soothing gesture for him. “It’s alright, we can go out another time. Honestly, as soon as I saw you step through the Floo I knew we weren’t going anywhere tonight. You look absolutely wrecked, love. Why don’t you go and take that hot shower, and I’ll order some food from that Thai place we both love. We can even eat it in bed if you want. Sound good?”

Another smile, this one a bit stronger than the previous, lifted the corners of Harry’s mouth, making a little bit of light come back into his eyes. “That sounds bloody marvelous.”

Draco returned the smile before pressing a kiss to Harry’s lips, “Go ahead and have your shower. I’ll order the food.”

Harry reluctantly disentangled himself from Draco and stood, raising his arms over his head in a stretch. “Oh that hot water is going to feel so good,” he groaned making his way towards the doorway of the sitting room. Looking over his shoulder he said, “And you’re sure about the eating in bed? I know how you are about that.”

Draco chuckled nodding. “Yes I’m sure.” Then looked mock stern, “You better not get anything on those sheets, Potter. They’re Eyptian Cotton I’ll have you know.”

Laughing Harry said, “Yes, sir!” Giving Draco a mock salute before making his way upstairs. Draco sagged back onto the sofa as soon as Harry was out of sight. He could feel the rage boiling under his skin, in his blood, in his magic. 

He couldn’t get the image of a small, helpless Harry locked in a cupboard out of his mind. Probably huddled under a threadbare blanket, if he even had one, for warmth and protection. Wondering what he’d done so wrong, why these people who were supposed to care for him didn’t. 

Draco closed his eyes, trying to get control of himself. He could feel his magic starting to sizzle dangerously under his skin, and knew if he didn’t get control he’d end up doing some kind of damage to Harry’s sitting room, probably to the whole of the first floor. 

Slowly, he felt the boiling anger ebb away, felt his racing heart slow. Finally he let out a breath and stood. He would go order the food and then join Harry upstairs, maybe in the shower.

He’d deal with the rest later.


End file.
